woke up stupid

Best definition
woke up stupid
An excuse used after making a series of mistakes within a short amount of time, or otherwise having an off day that is uncharacteristic of normal performance. Generally used as a way to play it off during an otherwise embarrassing situation.
Boss: Jim, you were late for work and now you can’t seem to get things together. What is the matter with you?

Jim: Sorry boss, I’ve been having kind of an off day. I guess I woke up stupid this morning.

Boss: Well get it together, or tomorrow you will wake up unemployed!

<Note: This example is for demonstration purposes only. It is not recommended to use this term in any professional capacity, as it may lead to an overall perception of incompetence. Safest usage is among friends.>