As defined by the great Louis CK in his concert film “Hilarious”, these problems affect Americans in the middle to
upper class. This is when your life is so amazing, that you make shit up to be upset about.”Why do I have to choose a language on the ATM machine? This is bullshit, I shouldn’t have to do that!”This is in sharp contrast to real problems, experienced by people in other countries.
My English professor didn’t truly grasp the depth of my thesis statement! …By the way I know this doesn’t matter at all, I’m just telling you my white people problems.
White People Problems: define #2
a. Events or situations which are deemed overly taxing to only white people.
b. non-issues and scenarios which are deemed dire enough by white people to vent about via facebook, twitter, therapy sessions, and any other time they may have someone else’s brief attention.
My god. I have had the longest day of meetings and phone calls. ItÃÂ¢ÃÂÃÂs 4pm and it took the Baristas ÃÂ¢ÃÂÃÂ Who KNOW I come in at this time every afternoon ÃÂ¢ÃÂÃÂ 10 minutes to make my triple machiatto with extra dry foamÃÂ¢ÃÂÃÂ¦. And honestly, the foam wasnÃÂ¢ÃÂÃÂt even that dry.
FML. Struggling today.
= White people problems
White People Problems: define #3
Problems or situations only found taxing by white people.
I wish I had Ashley’s white people problems. She told me she was sore because she has been so busy taking culinary classes for fun she hasn’t been able to use all of the massages on her spa membership card, got one today and was out of practice.
White People Problems: define #4
When you have a flat tire in your BMW. Or when your dry cleaning is over-starched. Or when your fag drink at Starbucks isn’t non-fat and you get upset.
I just got offered a promotion that will double my salary, but I’ll have to move and postpone closing on my new house. Uggghhh such a white people problem.
White People Problems: define #5
Problems experienced only by white people, i.e getting a sunburn, or Starbucks screwing up your latte.
“I forgot to put on sunscreen today.”
#White People Problems
White People Problems: define #6
A general term used to describe the piss poor priorities of upper/middle class citizens in developed countries, as they complain more about ridiculous over exaggerated bullshit (like marriage, where to eat, how to eat, getting their clothes messy) than actually trying to solve any of the real issues in the world like debt, starvation, corrupt governments, equality, diseases, poverty, etc.
Examples of White People Problems vs actual issues:
Average American Citizen:
“OMFG I Got grass stains on my white shoes! These are unwearable! I can’t walk out in public like this!”
(He then throws the shoes away)
Homeless person who does not have shoes :”What the fuck are you bitching about”
White people issues in the royal family:
Prince: “Bloody mary, I need to find a woman, if I do not then the entire government will fall” (he then finds one and broadcasts the shit to the media)
Refugee Who escaped from a corrupt middle-eastern regime: “What the fuck are you bitching about?”
Another example is the Trump campaign.