Best definition
a fool, moron.. someone who is not to bright
Mike Lindine is a complete whelk for not host ing his site correctly
whelk: define #2
Boys who can’t kiss for shit. Generally slobber everywhere, including in their hair.

He appears in angus thongs and perfect snogging as peter. Thinks he’s god’s gift to women.

Beware of the whelk boy!!

girl 1: “so was he a good kisser?”

girl 2: “No he was a fucking whelk!”

girl 1 “gads…don’t go near him again.”

whelk: define #3
Various water snails; sometimes edible
I ate a whelk
whelk: define #4
Not a common insult you hear but a very good one.

Means a very annoying person who never knows when to shut up.

Bloke one, “Hey your girlfriends a skank”

Bloke two, “Get the F*** out you Whelk”
whelk: define #5
A charming cad, who uses bullshit and innuendo creatively, with the intention of getting into a posh girl’s panties.
With his ginger hair it was clear that Prince Harry was sired by the whelk James Hewitt.
whelk: define #6
A British slang term for pussy, also meaning fool or moron.
– Did you get your knob into her whelk?

– Of course.

– You’re a player!

– You whelk! You wouldn’t even tell your ass from your elbow! You screwed up all the plan!0

– Herp, derp…

– Don’t you just stand there! Give me a beer!