2. the only place to go– besides Wal-Mart– after 11pm in Arkadelphia, Arkansas and similiar ends of the world
The only waiter I’ve ever seen working there was walking by our booth which was right by the grills, and I was talking with some friends about people we knew back in middle school that had fucked up their lives at an early age. So the guy just stops at our table and asks us, “Did I hear you guys talking about jamming?” We weren’t, but I decided to say yes, and he decided to tell us about his days in a “progressive rock band”. Then he told us how he played bass and was just working at Waffle House until he could “get his shit together and find a new band.” He asked us if we might want to “jam” with him sometime. We were all about 20 and he looked like a 35 year-old former member of R.E.M. so it had gotten too weird and we asked for the check.
Next time we went the REM guy from above was still working there. He recognized us and we talked a little. My boy Chuck didn’t have any money so he took out a loan from Jim and ordered a waffle for himself. Jim was at the adjacent booth because we had a group of 6. Jim didn’t get the memo and ordered two waffles. The waffles arrived and “no-money no problems” Chuck had two waffles, which he gobbled up. He then ordered yet another waffle, even though he didn’t have any money. He gobbled that one up, and Jim got pissed when he found out Chuck ate three waffles (which totalled to around $10 with tax and tip). The waiter guy came back around and saw that Chuck ate all the waffles and decided to start saying, in a very elevated voice, “WAFFLE FIEND”. I about shit my pants at how big a dumbass the waiter was. Then he brought the check and gave Chuck a paper hat that said Waffle House on the side. We always make fun of Chuck because his head is huge (roughly the size of a watermelon). Well he puts the hat on and it rips when he tries to get it to fit.
That’s all 100% true just go to Waffle House and crazy shit will happen.